November 10, 2007

• Confession

  I’ve never had the pleasure of going to Confession.  I went to a Catholic high school, but I’m not Catholic so I sat and stewed in the filth of my own sin while my Catholic classmates emerged pure as gold from their weekly confessional.  I wonder what that must be like.  One would think it would be a bit awkward to basically read off a list of your sins to a stranger, even if it’s supposed to be anonymous.  Indulge me as I try and get a taste of what it must like to be forgiven.  You can be the priest and I’ll confess all the sins I’ve committed in the past week:

  • used naughty words (“fuck,” “shit,” etc.)
  • had impure thoughts about actresses, women in uniform, and random women on the internet..
  • anger (road rage…the guy cut me off)
  • had impure thoughts…did I mention that already”
  • was lazy (sloth is a sin, right?)
  • was vain (admired my own face in the mirror)
  • gluttony (ate four hot dogs in one sitting, then ate an ice cream bar)
  • had thoughts which were not pure.

  You be the judge.

  • 3:59 am
  • 3 Comments